LOVE?? PLEASE EXCUSE ME

I am a firm believer in true love. I do
believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me wonder why I ever settled for anybody else. There is a lady out there for me, with whom I will celebrate countless anniversaries, Valentine’s Days and birthdays. There is a lady with whom I will
be able to get through any fight, distance or hardship, knowing that nothing will ever change. There is a lady out there with whom
I will share an unbreakable bond, held together by the deep desires of love.

But not today.

I don’t want someone I “won’t be able to imagine my life without.” I don’t want someone to “have my whole heart.” I don’t want someone to be “my whole world,” or “my rock,” or “my better half.” I don’t want
somebody who can understand me better than I can understand myself.
I want to feel whole. I want to be my own rock, my own anchor, my own soul mate. I want to understand myself better than anyone else can. I don’t want to look back
and hate myself for altering my future for someone else when I know I wasn’t ready to. That’s why I don’t want to find the woman I will love forever today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.

For those who know me, you know that
when I fall, I fall fast and I fall hard. I am a hopeless romantic who wears my heart on my sleeve. I simply love the idea of being in
love. I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have some type of interest in some type of girl.
I love having a “texting buddy.” I love feeling desired.
I have gotten hurt a few times, but I always pick myself up and try to
move on.
Moving on is hard for me, though,
simply because I love being in love. I’ve called very few my “better half” and my “rock.”
I’ve convinced myself that I couldn’t picture my life without them. I’m starting to realize now that that’s the last thing I want in my future relationship. Especially as
a young man in my starting his 20s this year.

Before I enter into any serious relationship, I need to feel like I’m complete. And I need to be able to feel complete while completely alone.

Too many women depend on men to make them happy, and I would be lying if I said I can enure total happiness to someome myself. At this point in my life, I don’t know how to be completely responsible when I’m in a relationship. I know many guys who can be, but personally, I don’t know how.

I have dreams. I have plans that only involve myself. I’m at a pivotal point in my life; I get to decide where I go from here. I can travel, move across the country and
make stupid spontaneous decisions, just because I can. As of right now, there is nothing holding me back from where I want to take my life (well, having a bit more money might be nice, but I’ll figure that one out eventually).
I don’t want to find my true love yet. I’m not ready to settle, and
I’m not ready to alter my personal plans for someone else. The only thing I’m ready for is discovering where my life takes me post-graduation.

I’m ready to move across the country.
I’m ready to make new and beautiful
memories with the people I’ll meet along the way. But I’m simply not ready to fall in love
again.
As my university career is coming to a midpoint and I’m starting to find out what I want for my life, I’m beginning to realize that I never want to fall for a lady whom I consider to be my “better half.” I don’t want a better half. I want to be whole. I want to consider myself and my happiness as more important than any relationship I will ever be involved with.

Does this make me
selfish? No.
This makes me able to know
that I can and will be happy alone, no matter how many heartbreaks might come my way.
Some people marry their high school
sweethearts; some of my friends have done so or plan on doing so. And I love them for that. I think their relationships are healthy, and I have loved watching them grow independently, even though they have a significant other. I admire them for that.

There is nothing wrong with already finding the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with at a young age. You can still live a complete life with a boyfriend/girlfriend by your side at age 20s.

But I know myself enough to know that I’m not at the point in my life where I can do that.
I want to imagine my own life. I want to be able to navigate through life’s exciting opportunities and devastating disappointments independently — and if and when a lady decides she wants to join me, I’ll still be able to have the peace of mind that I can do it alone. I will be able to imagine my life without her, because at that point, I will have already done it alone.

Many of you may read this and view me as a loner. Or maybe you’ll think I hate the idea of love. Believe what you wish, but neither of these assumptions is true. Like I said before, I can’t wait for the day I find my true love. I can’t wait to be able to look a lady in the eyes, say “I love you,” and know that it means “I love you forever.” I can’t wait for a lady to love me, challenge me and support me emotionally every day for the rest of my life.
That day will come, but I
haven’t lived enough yet.
I’m just turning 21. I have too many stupid decisions to make before I decide my fate. I have the rest of my life to find the lady who gives love a whole new meaning for me.

That day will come. Just not today.

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FOR MY MOM

When I fall in love with a woman, I take her
to my mother first before anything else
If my mother says NO then I’ll have no
option but to let you go
However much it will break my heart. Ill call
you in a hotel room where you can’t break
utensils, throw pans and mwikos at me.
I’ll sit you down like a doctor sits his
patient. I’ll cap your face in my hands and
wipe your chin with my thumbs, look at you
in the eyes and wisper tenderly, ” Honey,
you are such a beautiful woman, a
blossoming tulip, my only solace. A very rare
kind and I’ll never have a woman like you.
And that is why I called you here. I want
you to go out there and find a better man.
A man that deserves you. Am not worthy of
your love. I appreciate all the efforts you
have made in this relationship. But they are
futile now. It’s in the past. It’s a decision I
have made. We have just broken up. We
can’t argue over it. Am sure you will thank
me later.”
Because I fear facing your tears, I’ll stand
and walk gently towards the balcony
You will run out of the room crying, I would
wish to run after you but my mother’s
strength wouldn’t let me. So I’d just glue
myself where I am.
You wouldn’t mind about the rain falling on
your newly plaited hair. You would run out
of the gate and get inside a cab. You would
look up at me in the balcony. I’d look away.
I’d hear the cab speeding off with the
woman I love. To a place of oblivion. To her
future serendipity.
I would go back to the room, pick a phone
and call my mum. I’d tell her am done with
you. She would giggle. I would giggle too.
I can sacrifice anyone/anything just to hear my Mama
giggle.

Is witchcraft still real

The Struggle and Scramble for space and land In Kisii town,Kisii county, Kenya is now taking a dangerous dimension. A whole furniture shop full of someone’s work and only source of income flatten by a mysterious fire in the middle of an evacution dispute in the deep of the night. Land Barons and Private Developers are now in town. This comes barely two weeks after a man was arrested in the cold blood murder of his brother in the middle of a land dispute.
The owner of the furniture shop claimed witchcraft was used to burn his shop as the watchman did not see anyone.
However, residents claim it was a power fault which even caused an entire black out for more than two hours last night.
Kisii is one town in Kenya where witchcraft is believed to be working just as spirits of “gods” in past African fables.

RISK IT UP:Kisii university gets C.T treat

Students studying Actuatial Science in Kisii University, Kisii county,Kenya today had their first ever C.T clinic ever since the course was introduced in the institution.
The clinic dubbed Role of Mathematics in the society comes just weeks after politician Raila Odinga and Renown author Ngugi Wa Thiong’o visited the institution.

Lucy Muthoni; A lecturer of Actuarial Science at Strathmore university and taking her Phd in Math Finance at Strathmore in Nairobi; was the guest speaker of the day where she highlighted the main aims of Mathematics in ensuring Kenya achieved it’s vision 2030.
She was accompanied by Mrs. Sheilah Gatu who is a C.T specialist taking her C.T (actuarial professional papers) offered by the United Kingdom’s Institute & Faculty of Actuaties(IFoA).
Mrs. Sheila Gatu not only advised the students on how to tackle the Actuarial professional papers but also advised them on how & which papers to take at right moments and their concentrations.Mrs. sheila Gatu is Co-Founder to Faventia (A tution program for students seeking professional examination)

Kisii university Actuarial Students Association(KUASA) chair Don Omondi and the Organising Secretary Psalmy Psalmy graced the colorful event which was attended by more than 300 students.
Certificates were issued after the talk.

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Kisii university gate. Photo:magazinereel

Hello world!

Hello,
Thanks for visiting my blog.
I know for so long,Africa has been taken as the cradle of mankind but with very minimal attention.
Everyone concentrates on U.S,China & the Middle east forgetting Africa.
My blog is majoring on showing you that Africa is modern,Africa is developing & we’re moving forward to being the next big thing.
Thank you.

Felix